From Jack’s Trash to Robbie’s Treasure

OK, so Jack dropped the atomic bomb of reality and explained that our Vegas vacation is off.  Today, my feelings are mixed.  I am not going to sugar coat my feelings, I mean, my feelings are not the most diplomatic feelings in the world.  When it comes to Jack, I will admit I am selfish, but most women are selfish about the men they love.

I wanted that vacation and I have been dying to see Jack.  I have not seen Jack in the amount of time it takes to have a baby.  I mean, I could have given birth to his love child…and then some. 

I miss the hell out of him and I wish he didn’t land this gig…or better yet, I wish the gig were next month and not on the week/weekend that we were supposed to see one another.  I simply miss him and I miss kissing him and holding him and just being with Jack.  So, I am angry and it’s not the best state to be in.  I guess it’s a bit harsh to say that I am “Jack’s trash”, but what I do know is that I do not feel as important to Jack as he feels to me.   I can clear that up with a candid conversation and I was going to do that in Las Vegas.  Now, I won’t see Jack until July.  He is in touch with me and I love hearing from him.  He says all the romantic gushy stuff that I love to hear and I respond, in kind.  Jack DOES say that he loves me.  Jack DOES tell me that he loves me.  All that means is that I still think I have a shot of “playing house” with him and I would in a heartbeat.

Meanwhile, there is Robbie, who is here.  He is here for me.  Robbie is amazing in his own right.  He is witty, charming and such a mannerly gentleman.  Robbie actually treats me like a princess, which is weird for me because I am not used to men treating me like I am the only woman in the world.  Robbie does this for me and I don’t know how to accept it at times.  I almost don’t know how to be “a lady”, in the sense that I am always on-the-go, playing with the big boys, being a tomboy of sorts and simply doing life.  I forgot about letting the guy open doors, pull out your chair and helping a lady with her coat.

Jack is polite in the same manner, but he is not here.  It’s that simple.  Robbie is here and I am sincerely growing to like him very much.  Is Robbie going to replace Jack as the love of my life?  No.  I don’t think so at this point, but there is another word to describe my feelings for men like Robbie.  Let me get my thesaurus…