Sunday, April 20, 2014

How did I become lonely again?

I am seriously trying to wrap my head around this because I can see myself being with this guy for a long time. I think its only because I have plans and ideas. I am not sure that they translate or are even important to others. I really think I am in a relationship with myself and my thoughts and ideas of my future.

I dont think anyone cares. So does that mean I want to just be alone? Sometimes yes, and this comes as a defense mechanism. Would I rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than alone for the right reasons? No. I'd rather be alone. There is no worse feeling than being along with people in the house. The sounds of the disconnect is maddening—like station static turned up too loud.

That is where my heart is, but how the hell did it get there? How did I become lonely again?


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