Breaking Up With Robbie, Again: "It's so hard to say goodbye on Easter Day"

Of course, I was a bit wishy-washy.  I know.  Some part of me wants to hang on.  Some part of me still feels like there is hope.  I dunno why.  I mean, my pride says to cut this jerk loose but my heart melts when I see him (which I did briefly on Saturday) and when I hear his voice and see his smile.  Maybe I need to remind myself that the Devil smiles, too.  Something about Robbie just wont let me go...or is that vise-versa?

It's so hard to say goodbye on Easter Day.

I decided I had enough of the flaking out.  I've had enough of the unkept promises. 

Dearest Robbie, I am done...?

So, I wrote you the following email to say goodbye...again.

 

From: Chibrannigan<blah-blah@blah.com>;
To:  robbieblah@blah.com<robbieblah@blah.com>;
Subject: Dearest Robbie

Sent: Sun, Apr 24, 2011 5:41:07 AM

Dearest Robbie, I have been thinking about you the past few weeks and I know that you're in an odd situation. I miss you dearly and I think that you are one of the funniest men I have ever met. You make me laugh and I love that about you. There are so many wonderful qualities about you. You're a caring and giving and kind person and such a sweetheart. I miss you terribly and I want nothing more than to have you for myself. If you look back over the time that we have been together, you would see that I have enjoyed all of my time with you. My sweetheart, I really have fallen for you and having said all that I realize that you're in a sticky situation but it is this situation that you are in is keeping us apart. I am not making you the bad guy for your choices. I understand that you have to make choices for yourself but do you really think that we can carry on a relationship under these conditions? [YEAH, LIKE YOUR EX-WAS TO TEMPORARILY STAY WITH YOU AND NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE!]  I mean I have tried so many times over the past several weeks to simply see you in the morning and meet up for coffee.  All of them have fallen through except for one. It seems like it is stressing you too much to be able to give both of us the attention that we need. Again, I am not making you the bad guy. I understand but you do have choices to make. Only one of us can exist in your life its either her or me and at this point I feel like you have to choose being with her. It does break my heart. It does 100 percent but I don't know what I can do about that and I don't know what you can do about it. What are your thoughts? [TOTALLY WISHY-WASHY HERE, I COULD FEEL MY KNEES BUCKLE.  I SIMPLY DON'T WANT TO LET GO. WHERE IS MY HEAD???]

My thoughts are you have to figure out what you're gonna do for yourself and that is the most important thing of it all. My feelings for you will not fade. I still want to kiss you and make out with you but I don't think it's fair for you to not be real with yourself. You have to be real with yourself, Robbie. Do you have enough time to have a relationship with me and be there for her? From what I have seen, you don't. From what I have seen, you can't because there's been so many times over the past few weeks you have flaked out on meeting up with me. And again, I understand it but it does hurt. What do you suppose we do? What do you suppose can be done under the circumstances? I am open to discussing this more but I will tell you that it's hurting my feelings a lot when you make promises that you can't keep. You must understand how I'm feeling on my end! Take a look at it from my point of view, I have a very handsome guy that I care very much for but he's in a situation that is taking him away from me and its breaking my heart. I hope to talk to you when you can have a conversation for more than five minutes. Love you lots, Chi

UPDATE!!!!


I fell off the wagon and sent Robbie a text this morning then we spoke on the phone.  I wanted to confirm that he got the email.
He said he did NOT get the email. 

I said, "Well, that explains why we're talking right now!"
He wants to meet up for coffee later today.


Like a lollipop or sucker, I said yes.  We shall see.