Jack vs. Shane: Let the cheating begin...!?

Jack vs. Shane: Let the cheating begin!

Alright.  Let's examine this cheating thing that Shane got himself wrapped up into.

Here's how it went down.  I see Shane several times a week, usually consecutive days.  Maybe 3 or 4 in a row.  Then for the other 3-4 days, Shane would completely disappear.  No phone call and no text.

At first, I would freak out.  I had no idea where Shane was or what was going on.  The worst thoughts imaginable spilled into my head.  My wild thoughts got so bad that I couldn't even concentrate at work.  Did I cheat first with the love of my life? 

Did I cheat on my Cowboy Shane with my sweetheart of all sweetheart, Jack?

And how the hell did these two end up sleeping at my house and in my bedroom at the same time?   (It was not what you think...)

I have to back pedal here to give some back story....




BONUS POST WITHIN POST: SWEATY PALMS & WAITING FOR JACK TO ARRIVE

Finally, a few weeks ago, Jack came to town.  Yes, MY JACK!  Jack came flew into town for a convention and I had promised several months back that he could stay with me.  I am not one to go back on my word so...I honored my word.  So on Wednesday, July 20, 2011...I got to see the love of my love life.  Not only that,  I knew that I would have him for 5 fun-filled night and 4 amazing days.  Well, at least while he wasn't attending the convention.

I met Jack at the airport after he patiently waited there for me for 2 hrs.  I couldn't get myself motivated to even get to the airport on time to meet.  I was in a panic or having a serious happy breakdown.  I was downing coffee and dozing off between doing some last minute tidying up of my home. I went from high anxiety to caffeine induced coma and this was all based on the fact that Jack was on his way into town.  I couldn't process all that Jack info at one time.  Jack was arriving soon.  I love Jack.  I'm in love with Jack.  I haven't seen Jack in 10 months and I am going to see him today.  I can surely saw that I wasn't processing a thing...except for coffee.

Arriving at the airport was a surreal moment.  The sun was impressive, even blinding me while wearing sunglasses. The day was warm with slight wispy breezes. I walked down the airport sidewalk in a daze.  I could see people hugging and crying.  Couples were kissing.  Kids were laughing.  Luggage was everywhere.  One minute of walking felt like 10 minutes of time had passed and it was just at the final second of the minute that I noticed Jack's unmistakable silhouette sitting on a bench in the shady distance. 

Yes, it's Jack.  It's the man that I love.  By happenstance, Jack turned and looked in my direction as I approached him.  I didn't smile.  I don't think I could smile.  I was in shock, worried and going over my imperfections list in my head.  "Oh, why did I wear these jeans and this shirt. I'm a mess. Oh, how's my hair.  The color is different! What if he doesn't recognize me?  What if he doesn't like.... HI JACK!

"C'mon and give me a hug!!!", he cheers.  I can barely remember the hug.  What I do remember is what it felt like.  What it felt like to be in Jack's arms again.  Time finally stood still...at least for 30 seconds, but those seconds felt like an hour.  I gave him a big kiss on the cheek and inhaled his sexy scent, which I later found out was Coast soap.  I didn't want to seem desperate and plant one on his lips.  Jack kissed my check, too, after holding me back to take a gander.   We then hugged again for another 30-second hour...

To Be Continued...

2000 Hrs Later: Cowboy Shane Rides Into My Sunrise

I have found him, ladies.  And I can tell you that I am not giving him up.  That's right!  I am sure there are others, but this golden boy is mine for the keeping.

The most vain parts of me get to flex their muscles when Shane and I step out on the town.  Which we did, just last night.  My trophy lover has the rugged good looks of Russell Crowe, the mysterious charms of Jon Hamm (as Don Draper) and the sophistication of Daniel Craig as James Bond and I am willing to wear the t-shirt that reads "I'm with him and you're not!"

Yes, he's drop dead stunning and we make a very unique...I actually want to say "odd" looking couple.  I think my odd comment comes because I think I want to stick my face full of botox and I am just having a bad face year...That's my opinion, of course.  It's not Shane's opinion.  It is Shane who loves my face in and out of makeup.  It's Shane who prefers my natural hair length versus my addiction to wearing hair extensions.  Don't get me wrong.  Shane is crazy.  I mean he is such a drama queen in his own right and I am happily attracted to oddballs like this.  Opposites attract but oddballs stick together.  I'm an oddball and a drama queen, wouldn't you agree?

When we look at each other or hold hands, there is a spark.  I cannot explain it but Shane described as best he could the other day. 

 

He was at my house, it was very late and we were just talking by candlelight.  After some "spirits", Shane started to make a few confessions.  Like...Oh...That he had cheated on me with a younger girl.  Age 21 to be exact.  My heart sank to the soles of my shoes, but I felt so much empathy for him.  Read my post on "How I feel empathy for my cheating boyfriend" coming up in the next few days.

Nevertheless, Shane and I shared an important moment.  After our chat about Misha, Shane asked that I sit on his lap.  I did, of course and Shane just nuzzled and buried his head into my chest.  He put his arms around me but this was a different feeling that I have ever felt before.  I got the sense of defeat from Shane.  Well, maybe not defeat...maybe it was surrender.  I held Shane in my arms.  That's all I know. 

 I could smell his sweaty hair right below my nose, which I love.  Sometimes, when he is sleeping, I lie next to him in bed and just sniff his hair.  No Tag or Axe body spray can beat the scent of a manly-mans sweaty hair.  I ran my hands through his hair and just...embraced Shane. 

Never mind what I was feeling as he rested his head on my bosom.  Wednesday night (8/3/11), Shane said the magic words.  He said that he felt the "connection" and "energy" in our embrace the other night.  It's a bit melodramatic, one may say, but I know what he means.  We know what that embrace was all about.  It was about something more than we could ever express with words. 

I hate when Shane is working.  I hate when Shane is not around.  He has an amazing energy.  He's got issues and he said so himself.  Yeah, I know what some of them are.  Shane is looking for unconditional love.  Aren't we all?

What I do know about Shane and I is this.  Shane is an extremely quirky man.  All of his past relationships didn't survive the quirky, oddball stuff the makes it's home in Shane's mind, body and libido.  As I get to know more about his quirks, and actually survive them, I am so thankful for him and his crazy ways.  I have learned so much about myself.  I don't take anything that Shane does personally.  Not even Misha.  If Shane and I would break up today, it would hurt, of course, but I would rest assured that it would not last long.  We would be back into each others arms after a hiatus.  How do I know?  How did Neo know he was "The One" in the Matrix?